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Let's Reserve Sex for Marriage

Henry Makow | January 10 2005

How far we've traveled in 50 years!

In 1955, you would raise eyebrows by advocating extramarital sex. Today many will be horrified to hear me suggest that sex should be reserved for marriage.

Don't ascribe this opinion to my "fundamentalist Christian upbringing" (as one reader recently put it.) I am a product of our dysfunctional Judeo Masonic ("secular") culture and practiced "sexual liberation" (or tried to) for most of my 55 years.

As I finally have a satisfying marriage, I realize traditional morality reflects profound psychological and spiritual truths.

I have a hunch that confining sex to marriage is the cornerstone of social and personal health. Conversely, sexual liberation is just bad for us.

I'm not trying to cramp anyone's style here but rather to lend support to people who are leaning in this direction anyway.

I begin with the assumption that human life is sacred. People are not animals made to rut and root. We are created in God's image.

This means we are not finished. We are designed to become higher more gracious beings.

In the act of procreation, we become surrogates for God. We create life.

Sex is sacred. It is not merely a bodily urge. It is motivated by a spiritual desire: the need to overcome our isolation and become One with another human being in Love. Male and female were designed to complement and balance each other. A child is the fruit of their unity.

Obviously this spiritual need cannot be fulfilled by casual sex. Promiscuity is the antithesis of love. When we have love, we do not feel the need to roam.

Perhaps marriage is not always essential but certainly sex belongs in a long-term committed loving relationship.


The attempt to foist promiscuity on a woman goes against her natural instincts and causes hurt and confusion. By accepting a man's seed, she is becoming one with him, even if there is no conception.

(See also my "Sexual Liberation is Anti-Women"

For a healthy woman, sex is an act of self-surrender. It is the ultimate gift she can bestow, an expression of her love and commitment. Self-surrender is the key to her sexual satisfaction.

(See my "The Power of Sexual Surrender"

A woman does not make this sacrifice lightly. Trust is the essence of her love. She trusts her husband to look after her best interests. She chooses her husband carefully.

Femininity is the art of self-effacement. A feminine woman puts her husband and children's welfare ahead of herself (and career.) She is rewarded by their love and devotion. She is the nucleus of the nuclear family.

A woman's sacrifice is how love comes into the world. It makes a man want to reciprocate and sacrifice for his family. Selfless love gives both man and woman meaning and purpose.

We are young and sexually attractive for a relatively short time. It is love that warms our hearts for the better part of our lives.

No wonder the enemies of love, the servants of Satan, our political and cultural leaders, want to destroy heterosexuality and marriage. They want to murder the soul. We have entered the twilight zone.


Born in 1949, I have seen the change in society due to "sexual liberation."

When sex was confined to marriage, it meant you didn't do it unless you really cared about the other person. The spiritual or human element was guaranteed. It ensured that men and women considered marriage (and family) as the natural next step in their development, which it is.

Today, the sex partner has become a temporary convenience. The woman is a receptacle; the man a vibrator. Sex is glorified masturbation. Marriage is postponed indefinitely.

Thanks to "sexual liberation," everyone is a potential sexual partner. All human relationships have been degraded to sex. No one is off limits, even children. Everyone you meet is a potential sex partner or predator.

When sex was confined to marriage, people could relax and relate to each other on a higher plane, as human beings.

The critic Irving Babbitt said, "When a civilization falls apart, it collapses because of unfettered sex."


As my readers know, I believe the sexual revolution was really homosexual in nature.

Powerful forces want to depopulate and destabilize society by promoting gender confusion (feminism) and homosexual dysfunction.

I define this dysfunction as arrested development due to the inability to form a permanent bond with a member of the opposite sex.

Gay or straight, we are all becoming homosexual because we cannot achieve the spiritual union or permanent intimacy that we really crave.

Sex is mistaken for love and replaces it, thereby assuming a deceptive importance. We are obsessed with it. Because it cannot satisfy our real need, we continue to up the ante and become kinkier.

We judge people strictly by their sex appeal and are cruelly indifferent to those who are not physically attractive. Women develop eating disorders. The aged naturally are treated with contempt.

We compensate for failure to find permanent love by making a public display of our promiscuity. This is supposed to affirm our freedom and identity. TV and movies testify to this perverse trend. In many cases homosexuals now are defining heterosexual norms. ("Sex and the City"; "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"; "Kinsey: Let's Talk About Sex")

We are in constant denial about our malaise and the forces that enslave us. . (See my "Is this Gay Behavior Sick? )

In contrast, heterosexuality is monogamous, exclusive and private. It is concerned with procreation, nurturing and personal development.

Invisible powers are neutering society. Tolerating homosexuality is no longer enough; we are now required to experiment with it. Heterosexual marriage is equated with homosexual marriage as if being gay and straight were the same. (See my "Why I am Proud to be Homophobic"

Feminism is a mask for lesbianism teaching women to usurp the male role and spurn the female one. Universities instruct young women to fear, not love men and children. Feminist family law makes marriage a dangerous proposition for men.

There is no question that sick people control the government and media.


If a woman wants to be "independent," she needn't get married.

Heterosexuals shouldn't confuse equality with equal power. Equality means that both partners have an equal right to dignity and self-fulfillment. But this is achieved in different ways. Heterosexual union involves an exchange of female worldly power for male love.

Essentially the woman says, "I will obey you." The man says, "I will love you." Thus two people become one. Of course he consults her. How else can he love her?

A woman demonstrates feminine power in myriad ways: by her warmth, beauty, grace, personality, intelligence, industry and devotion.

In marriage a woman entrusts her power to her husband. This is the only kind of woman a man will permanantly love because she is part of him, like his right arm. He doesn't spoil her but he treats her very well.

This is the unity most people seek. It is the source of love and stability. It may not be the only way, but it is one that has always worked. It is possible only when sex is reserved for marriage.