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The making of the April 2006 bin Laden tape The following, of course, is fiction: Maryland, USA. General Z - Our last bit of film of Osama, before the 2004 election, worked wonders for the president. I want to congratulate everyone for that. General X - What are our aims for this new tape? Colonel Y - Number one: We want to damage these Hamas people. So we try to make a link between Osama and Hamas. Number two: we want to make it clear that Israel is on our side. We get Osama to rant against 'Zionist Crusaders'. That links Christians and Zionists. Christians are to see Zionists as their buddies. Number three: our Danish cartoon operation worked well. So we get Osama to stir up the issue once more. We emphasise the link between Moslems and intolerance. Number four: the president is thinking increasingly about the oil in Africa. The Darfur issue has made Moslem Sudan look less than perfect. So we get Osama to support the Sudan. Number five: the president's poll numbers keep on sinking. Osama will mention Iraq. That makes the Iraq business look like a fight against Osama. General Z - Are we still using the same bod to play the part of Osama. He doesn't look quite right to me. Colonel Y - We're working on it. We'll make the tape quite fuzzy. ---------------------------------------------------
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